But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
