i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
