Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
