Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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