My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
