I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
