Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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