I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
