Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
