you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
