i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
