just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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