My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
