Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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