I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
