do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
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I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
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I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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