Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
