Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
