YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
