My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
