I must be too annoying 4 u.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
