i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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