I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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