these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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