I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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