Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
