apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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