I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
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There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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