Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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