a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize