But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think i have two assholes
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
