Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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