So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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