I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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