your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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