Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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