That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
