I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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