yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
FUCK WHALES
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