it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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