from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
