i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
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and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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