forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am never drinking with the goths again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
