So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
