Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.