I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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