Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
