Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
where are you?
Hypothermia
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
