somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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