I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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