my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
