Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
