I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
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I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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