Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My ass is underappreciated
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize