My underwear smells like fireworks.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
