Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
