i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
