i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
