I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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