I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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